CHUCKLE #375 | September 24th, 2009
Incompetent Drive Thru Mom Fails to Annoy Burger Dude
I did not INTEND to drive the Burger King DRIVE THRU guy to the brink of insanity. He just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Most people understand that the Drive ThruSOCIAL CONTRACT dictates SPEED OF LIGHT decision-making. They are willing to relinquish their right to hem and haw for the greater good. Not my family. My family has difficulty articulating what it is we wish to eat at the appropriate "drive thru" speed. Needless to say this irritates the fast food employees, the people in the cars behind us, and most especially the people in the car with us. On a recent road trip, the mom who was with me INSISTED that the drive thru would be quickest. She was unaware of the DEPTH of my family's issues.
Most people understand that the Drive ThruSOCIAL CONTRACT dictates SPEED OF LIGHT decision-making. They are willing to relinquish their right to hem and haw for the greater good. Not my family. My family has difficulty articulating what it is we wish to eat at the appropriate "drive thru" speed. Needless to say this irritates the fast food employees, the people in the cars behind us, and most especially the people in the car with us. On a recent road trip, the mom who was with me INSISTED that the drive thru would be quickest. She was unaware of the DEPTH of my family's issues.
1) We hardly ever eat at fast food places so we are unfamiliar with the "menu" options (hence the decision-making lock jaw.)
2) My kids PANIC under pressure, especially food related pressure. You'd think they were donating a kidney, not ordering a burger.
3) Because getting Fast Food is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, my kids want to negotiate for NASTY STUFF like shakes and onion rings - and forming a convincing argument takes time.
In hindsight, I should have known better and resisted the SIREN CALL of the Drive Thru. But I didn't, and so it went something like this...We drive up (I miss the microphone and have to back up.) The nice young man offers to take our order. I thank him for his interest in our needs, and let him know that we are not quite ready to order yet. Three minutes later, he offers to take our order again. I place one person's order (that of my "companion" Mom who looks ready to strangle me.) He asks if that will be all. I obtain the kids' orders, then carefully yell each food item into the microphone, with a lengthy pause between words to ensure comprehension. (I have since been made aware that Drive Thru window technology has vastly improved since the last time I tried it 10 years ago and that exaggerated enunciation is NOT entirely necessary.)
In hindsight, I should have known better and resisted the SIREN CALL of the Drive Thru. But I didn't, and so it went something like this...We drive up (I miss the microphone and have to back up.) The nice young man offers to take our order. I thank him for his interest in our needs, and let him know that we are not quite ready to order yet. Three minutes later, he offers to take our order again. I place one person's order (that of my "companion" Mom who looks ready to strangle me.) He asks if that will be all. I obtain the kids' orders, then carefully yell each food item into the microphone, with a lengthy pause between words to ensure comprehension. (I have since been made aware that Drive Thru window technology has vastly improved since the last time I tried it 10 years ago and that exaggerated enunciation is NOT entirely necessary.)
But what amazed me the most is that each time I paused, the drive thru guy politely asked "will that be all?" (Without ever using ANY tone to convey his belief that I MUST INDEED, be an idiot.) That is just NOT normal behavior for a Burger King employee who is being (unintentionally) tormented, BTW. To top it all off, the two guys behind us did NOT get out of their 1985 Chevy Silverado and threaten us with a baseball bat, nor did they even deign to honk. I've decided that people in Allentown PA are saints. Thanks to Billy Joel's heartfelt lyrics, we all know that Allentown has not been economically blessed. In spite of that these folks are strangely patient and understanding, and lacking inner RAGE. In light of my socially inept Drive Thru performance, I appreciated this characteristic VERY much. In return, I will try much harder next time. THANK YOU Allentown!
But honestly, what is the point of using the Drive Thru when all you REALLY want from a fast food restaurant is to use the bathroom?! To put it more philosophically, does the desire for French fries provide a convenient opportunity for "relief", or is the need to "GO" an excuse for French Fries? Or, do you simply prefer to drive thru?
But honestly, what is the point of using the Drive Thru when all you REALLY want from a fast food restaurant is to use the bathroom?! To put it more philosophically, does the desire for French fries provide a convenient opportunity for "relief", or is the need to "GO" an excuse for French Fries? Or, do you simply prefer to drive thru?
